GAME OF THRONES 7.05 - "EASTWATCH"

 

“Eastwatch” is the clunkiest episode of the season, starting in the immediate aftermath of last week’s battle and then progressing to a series of scenes that must take place days or weeks apart.  Its unevenness is pronounced even within the context of the accelerated pacing of the prior group of episodes.  Storylines jump forward in great leaps and bounds, but with so many of the characters now gathered in so few places, the compression is really felt simply because there is a lack of other things to cut to.  When Euron was teleporting across the country a few weeks back, the episode at least opened with him on one coast and ended with his arrival at another.  With this episode, it’s not just that Jon makes it to Eastwatch in the same episode as he decides on the plan, it’s that there is only a single other scene between his leaving and arrival.  Davos goes from Dragonstone to King’s Landing back to Dragonstone to Eastwatch, all in the second half of this episode.  I’m more than willing to roll with the show simply skipping over the actual travel to get to the story or character meat, but it still needs to be very careful with how it utilizes the transitions from one plotline to another.  Done deftly, this can create the implication of time passing, even if the show doesn’t have room to actually depict it. 

“Eastwatch” does this well in one instance, at least.  When Bran sends his murder of ravens to scout the Night King’s position, they fly down the Wall to Eastwatch, rather than a more direct diagonal route.  While it is clear that nothing about the timeframe here is literal, the scenic route serves to situate this notable new location (for those that fast-forwarded through the opening credits map), confirms that the Night King is closing in on it, and implies an interval of time far greater than what actually passes on screen.  Then when he opens his eyes and says they need to send ravens, we cut immediately to a place where one of those ravens has arrived.  It's not the most complex structuring imaginable, but it creates a momentum as we shift from one storyline to another, by following a single idea, or in this case a message, from one scene into the next.  Contrast that with the second half of the episode, where everything is tied so directly to the hastily thrown together plan to kidnap a zombie that the paucity of other places to cut to make the lurches forward in time all the more noticeable. As jarring as it is when Euron starts in King’s Landing and five scenes later, appears on the opposite coast, it is (checks math...hmm...) approximately five times more jarring when there is only a single scene between a boat leaving a beach and arriving half a world away.

"I am so effing jarred right now."

And while the timeline chicanery is forgivable when the payoffs are as good as they have been, it also makes it all the more pronounced when the show miscalculates even slightly.  Like by shortchanging the reunions of Tyrion with Bronn or Jaime after several years apart, while still devoting precious minutes to Davos (or last week, Arya) dithering about with some nameless, dimwitted guards.  Or having Gendry suddenly be an eager, important soldier after 4 years offscreen (complete with a metajoke from Davos that is too cute by half).  Or having Jorah reunited with Dany after traveling the entire world, and volunteering to leave her again in their very next scene.  If you can’t space these events further apart within the season, it would still be better to space them out a bit more within the episode itself – I don’t want to ask for wheelspinning scenes, but I do wonder if sprinkling in some brief check-ins with the Greyjoys, or Edd at the Wall, or Tormund or the Brotherhood’s getting to Eastwatch might have gone a long way toward making the pace of the Dany/Jon/Lannister stuff feel less jerky.  If only by underlining that yes, while Tyrion and Dany and Davos repeatedly crisscross the seas, there are still things actually happening in other parts of the world.

  

And yet, for all the speed with which these plans are hatched and executed, it’s still not fast enough for the characters.  Gendry and the Hound both cut scenes off early by basically saying “come on, man, we all know I’m coming with you so let’s cut to the chase.”  That’s the entire MO of the season thus far, but it fits the Hound’s character more than the bastard smith’s, I think.  It makes some sense that Gendry wouldn’t be comfortable living under Lannister rule, seeing as they tried to kill him.  But it feels a touch off for so much emphasis to be placed on his relationship to the father he never met, to the point that when trying to ingratiate himself with Jon he doesn’t even mention that oh yeah, I also traveled and fought with your supposedly-dead sister for a year or so.  

He does handily win the "Who Smushed It Better?" Award for this week, though

It’s not that it is unusual for the fifth episode of a GOT season to be primarily a table-setter.  But it feels different this time around, both because the shortened length puts us well past the midpoint that this would normally represent, but because the early going has been so much more eventful than seasons’ past.  I had expectations that the war between Dany and Cersei would be a rather protracted conflict, but this episode opens with everyone facing the inescapable reality of Dany’s victory in their own ways.  Bronn tells Jaime that there are lines to how much loyalty money can buy, and dragons are on the other side of it.  Randyll and Dickon Tarly refuse to change their allegiance once again, and are promptly incinerated, to Tyrion’s dismay.  He always knew on some level that joining a war of conquest would involve breaking some eggs, but watching his country/bannermen reduced to ashes shakes him.  Enough to, after a good drunken wallow with Varys, push for an armistice in the hopes that the logical conclusion of this conflict can be put off.

The idea of a truce seemed completely out of the question at the start of the hour, and Cersei even says as much to Jaime after he delivers his initial tactical assessment of “we be fucked”.  If the choice is fight and die or submit and die, that’s no choice at all for Cersei, who has ironically always been more pugnacious than her brother, the famed swordsman.  The hopelessness of the fight combines with her surprise pregnancy to make her reconsider, though she still makes clear (as Sansa could have told us from a thousand miles away) that it is only in the interests of buying time to plot her own version of the Red Wedding.  She and Qyburn are already hard at work, and if I were a betting man I’d guess that the plan involves a wildfire ambush under a flag of truce, and perhaps a plan to frame Dany’s dragons for burning down much of the capital.  Or at least a wanton indifference to that possibility, sufficient to alienate Jaime for good.  It’s not very clear what effect seeing an actual zombie will have on her plans, but my guess is not much.  She’s facing extinction either way, and I think she’d rather see her country overrun by the living dead than in the hands of her human enemies.   

In that, she is very much akin to Littlefinger, who is hatching his own plots in the North, apparently still not realizing that all of mankind being wiped out by undead hordes is not the type of chaos that a man can climb up.   The particulars of his current scheme are difficult to suss out, but it apparently involves driving a wedge between the Stark sisters.  He is shown to be whispering in the ears of the Lords Royce and Glover, who have been voicing discontent with Jon’s absentee leadership, and leaves “secret” messages for Arya to find.  It is not very difficult for him to set Arya and Sansa at odds, since that is their natural state, but this is apt to blow up in his face sooner rather than later, I think.  I’m impressed with how quickly the show was able to set up an Arya v. Littlefinger dynamic with basically no dialogue, and have it feel vital and appropriate.  But he has been Sansa’s mentor/nemesis for too long, and I don’t see this ending any other way than with the girls teaming up to put an end to his lurking and skeeving for good.

Sitting there in the corner, just...just...

 That will probably have to wait for the finale, though, since I imagine next week will be devoted primarily to another team-up, the hastily-assembled Snowcean’s 11 that Jon leads beyond the Wall at episode’s end.  And as whiplash-inducing as that development might be, it also quickly sets up an extensive array of tensions within that team – Gendry is still understandably raw that the Brotherhood delivered him to Melisandre for slaughter, Tormund isn’t happy about fighting with the son of Lord Commander Mormont, the Hound is hating on everyone and everything per his wont, and Thoros just really wants a drank.  There’s enough there that I wouldn’t mind if next week was nothing but the team trudging through the snow, sniping at each other and fighting zombies.  I mean, I’d definitely still find ways to complain about it. But it should be fun.

Anyway, is it next week yet?

SUBPLOT REPORT CARD

King’s Landin’ – B+

I wanted more from Tyrion and Jaime, but the latter had some of his best scenes with Cersei in years.  I also liked the brief mention of Davos's dead son, further underlining the fragility of the alliances Jon is buildling and teeing up his sudden paternal stance toward Gendry.

Dragonstone – B

Littler Bit I Loved:  Varys's baleful "nothing good" when Tyrion asks him what the sealed scroll says.

Winterfell – B+

Arya, don't you be falling for this nonsense.

The Road – A-

The Tarlys' end and Tyrion's quesiness is good enough to overcome the silliness of Bronn and Jamie swimming a mile away with the latter in full armor, which at least they get out of the way immediately.

The Wall  - A-

I would never have been greedy enough to request a scene with Jorah, Tormund, and the Hound all together, but you're damn straight I'll take it.

Season Morgulis – House Frey, Obara Sand, Nymeria Sand, Tyene Sand, Olenna Tyrell, Randyll Tarly, Dickon Tarly

Death Watch -  Okay, it's finally time for Thoros and Beric to bite it, but you fucks best not kill Tormund too....

GAME OF THRONES 7.04 - "THE SPOILS OF WAR"

I had always been skeptical of the speculation that Jon and Dany were heading toward a romantic entanglement, but as this week featured some explicit tension between the Targaryen regents, it's clear I was at least partly wrong.  Jon might insist that there’s no time for love, but Davos has been around, and knows that a basic bro like Jon would only plan a third date at the natural history museum if he was desperate to impress.  He puts on some subtle (for him) moves as he tries to use some cave paintings to convince Dany to reconsider her reluctance to join the fight against the Night King.  Other than the added sexual tension, the scene is largely repetitive of things we heard last week.  It serves mainly to make the following scene on the beach, where Dany turns to this ostensible rebel criminal for advice over her own counselors, not seem so abrupt.  It’s a fine moment, but it can’t pretend to compete for ownership of the episode, not against the enormous spectacle on the roseroad or the fantastic character work in Winterfell.

Stark reunions have become plentiful this last year, after a solid 5 years of painful separations and teasing near-misses. These dramatic returns should be progressively diminishing, but Arya and Sansa meeting in the crypt is wonderfully written and performed, as the scene gets the space and quiet to really breathe.  Arya’s gradual thaw, from not returning Sansa’s hug to spontaneously giving one back a few minutes later, is terrific, subtle work from Maisie Williams, who is more frequently called upon to anchor her characterization with bigger, splashier moments.  And the dialogue elegantly elides having the characters directly recount scenes we’ve already seen to each other - Arya doesn’t even mention that she was the one that waxed House Frey! But that just sets up the sparring match with Brienne as a way of showing Sansa, rather than telling, just what a lethal implement her sister has transformed into.

I’d say something about not to ‘shipping these two, but 

who I am kidding? Fish gotta swim, Tumbler gotta Tumble.

The choregrapy and palpable fun/comfort levels of the performers make that match a series highlight, even as Sansa’s reaction fading from impressed to concerned recalled Ned watching her first lesson with Syrio, waaaay back at the end of episode 3.  Ned’s concern turned out to be very, very well founded, but even so I have to think that for the surviving Starks, the worst is behind them.  If nothing else, there just doesn’t seem to be the time to dish out worse punishment than the prior seasons have, though between the army of the dead and “allies” like Littlefinger, they are still a long ways from Happily Ever After.  Speaking of Littlefinger, I can see some viewers’ frustration that such an invenerate schemer has been sitting on his hands since the Battle Of The Bastards.  But I kind of like how he came to Winterfell with one Stark child as his ace in the hole, and now finds himself surrounded by four, none of which can he find any leverage over.  It’s a neat, subtle inversion of Ned’s intractable idealism causing him so much grief in King’s Landing, that one of the snakes that caused so much of it should be similarly flummoxed when he takes his southern wiles to a place where winter has come and loyalty is an actual thing.

Littlefinger is good at playing the angles, difficult as it may be to find them in a place as square as Winterfell, and at using people’s limited perspectives against them.  As his “fight in your mind” speech last week demonstrated, he prides himself on his broad vision and foresight, but when Bran demonstrates the ability to literally see every angle, he is even more shaken than when he witnesses Arya’s insane ninja skillz.  As he should be, since he’s never relied on swordplay to establish his dominance, but being the smartest and most informed one in the room.  That kind of goes out the window where the Three-Eyed Raven is concerned, though, because he is in the room with more than just Brandon Stark.  Bran's dismissal of Meera, which is cold but succinct and not exactly unkind, offers up a much better explanation of this than his “shit’s complicated” non-answers to Sansa last week.  He remembers his life as Bran Stark, but that is now only a small part of the many lifetimes of memories he’s uploaded.  So Meera feels to him like the aunt you haven’t seen in a decade, who can only think to ask 20 year-old you if you’re still into all that Pokemon stuff.  That kid she remembers, it's not you, even though it was you.  If we are the accumulation of our memories, then her's only ever included a thin slice of your current self, and that creates a distance even if neither side intends it.  And with Bran, it’s not even so much that he grew up quickly, but that he grew old (impossibly, magically so) all at once.  

Of course, the biggest complaint about this season is precisely that everything is happening all at once.  And as the show accelerates into the home stretch, I can understand how some people would be vexed by the lurches in pacing.  But like a proper three-eyed bird, I can see all these complaints without really feeling them.  For my own purposes, I find it more comforting than off-putting that if the show is moving less elegantly than before, it is because it is moving with a definite sense of purpose.  It indicates that there is an actual end in sight that we are barreling towards, and particularly on a show as sprawling and mythology-heavy as this one, that is the reassurance I crave most at this late stage.

apropos of nothing

I, and others, have made much over the years about Game Of Thrones' unpredictability as one of its greatest and most distinctive aspects. And more recently, how that sense has eroded somewhat as the plotlines collapse toward a singular finale. But that same accelerated pacing that some find frustrating, with characters and armies lurching across continents with less and less context, does also work to subtly cut against the increased predictability created by the convergence of characters and storylines.  In years past, a big part of what made the story unpredictable was just how many loose threads there were all over the place that could seemingly go in any direction at any time, such that you could never even be entirely sure whether say, the Greyjoys or Sparrows or Brotherhood Without Banners would become suddenly important, or suddenly wiped out, or just disappear for years on end.  With less threads to keep track of, more bits of foreshadowing stockpiled as evidence for pet theories, and less time for wild twists that upend the entire board (and therefore require time to reset it), it became easier and easier to get out ahead of upcoming developments.

Which is why the temporal anomaly that set in over Westeros in the sixth season finale, allowing first characters like Varys and Arya and then entire armies and fleets to teleport all over the map, is crucial for more than just skipping over the boring parts.  The uncertainty it produces, even if it is purely logistical, keeps us off balance even when armed with all the years of speculation, evidence and trailer dissections discussed above. Whereas earlier seasons, with more open storylines, might disguise the movements of Euron’s fleet “better” simply by having more disparate threads to cut between for an episode or two, that is no longer an option.  And so when it wants to spring a surprise on us, rather than "oooh, Euron!  I forget all about him!", latter-day GOT aims for “shit, is that Euron? How did he get here already??”  

"...and why does he look like he's been at the Viper Room, doing coke with David Copperfield?"

The latter approach may not be everyone's cup of mead, but it functions as a means to put us in Yara or Olenna or Jaime's shoes as they are caught wrongfooted and their grand plans crumble all at once.  It’s a marked change, but one calculated to use the inconsistency with more tangible plot elements to purchase a greater consistency with the more ineffable feel that made the series the phenomenon it is. 

The attack on the supply train both revived that feeling of unpredictability, and fed off it.  It’s “Hardhome” for Jaime, in terms of how it comes up earlier in the season than we would expect for such a big sequence, the way it seems to start like any other scene of middling significance before sprawling out to encompass the entire third act of the episode, and how it features the “hero” and his human allies completely outmatched by their supernatural adversaries.  And the scale and grandeur of these sequences serves a purpose greater than simply providing money shots for trailers or justifying television’s largest budget via legitimate spectacle.  Because as the sequence went on, and on, it began to feel like maybe it was big and elaborate enough to be Jaime’s send-off. 

It’s not, of course.  I’m not even going to pretend to be concerned that Jaime will drown in that surprisingly-deep river, even if the sticklers will point out that it would be pretty much impossible to remove all the armor and golden appendages weighing him down in time to make it up for air.  But it's still a marvelously tense sequence, because the show is also savvy in including a character like Bronn (or Tormund, in Hardhome's case) in a significant enough role that even if you never buy that the main character is in legitimate jeopardy, you still feel that it could plausibly be the end of those beloved sidekicks.  Or to look at the other side of the conflict, I never for a second thought that Dany was in danger, but I did have moments of doubt about whether Bronn would actually take out Drogon with that ballista.  And actually, if Qyburn had the foresight to apply his poison mastery to his heavy weaponry designs, he may have.  I didn’t think this was too likely at first, but once it was pointed out that a minor but infected shoulder wound was exactly what killed Drogon’s namesake, it suddenly felt very plausible. 

I guess we’ll have to wait until next week to find out, and just how mad Cersei goes when she hears that her brother/lover is captured or presumed dead.  Shit, is it next week yet?

SUBPLOT REPORT CARD

King’s Landin’ – B

Just a single scene of Cersei laying out plans to hire a mercenary company, and the Iron Banker salivating at the thought of refinancing their mortgage on the Iron Throne.  It does potentially pave the way for Daario to return, much as I’d rather he didn’t.

Dragonstone – B

Little bit I loved:  Tyrion’s scar looked more pronounced this week, as if stress and military failure aggravates his war wound.

Littler Bit I loved:  “Fewer.”  Stannis’s pedantry, if not his house or claim to the throne, lives on.

Winterfell – A

I’m only denying it the A+ because we didn’t need quite so much time of the Arya dicking around with the Keystone Guards.

The Road – A+

Little bit I love:  The falling music cue that occurs whenever Drogon is working up a mouthful of flame.

Better Drogon moment:  leaving a wake in the water as he swoops over, or petulantly whipping the remains of the scorpion wagon with his tail?

Favorite Shot:  Jaime turning away as he sees his army literally reduced to ashes.

Season Morgulis – House Frey, Obara Sand, Nymeria Sand, Tyene Sand, Olenna Tyrell, Jaime’s horse Gumdrop, Bronn’s Sweet AF Knife

Death Watch - I will maintain for the record that I think I would be much better at this if I let myself watch the "Next Week On" teasers, and could target my guesses toward subplots that were guaranteed to actually appear.  Instead, I can spend a whole season predicting the Sand Snakes will not last much longer, and while my reasoning may be sound in that they only wind up having 2 more scenes in the entire series, it takes 12 episodes to get around to them.  Which is by way of defending my picks of Thoros and Berric as still theoretically sound, even though I've been repeatedly wrong in picking them week after week when they simply do not appear.  I think next week, with Meera heading south to the Neck, may be the time for them to reappear, and then leave us for good.

But also Drogon is probably poisoned.  Three dragons is just an overwhelming advantage, and now that this has been demonstrated, it's time to cut that lead down.

Looking Into The Flames:  I was struck by some very specific, non-death related predictions for the remainder of the series as this episode went on, so I figured I’d throw them out here for giggles.  They’re only spoilers if I’m right, but if you’re especially sensitive to such matters, maybe skip this part.  Anyway…

 

• The much-prophesized Cleganebowl will not be a one-on-one match up, but the Frankenmountain being taken down by a reunited Sandor and Arya, respectively, tanking and dishing out critical DPS with her Valyrian Dagger +5.

• Sansa’s voice over from the end of the (still super-duper sweet) second season trailer is delivered over Littlefinger’s dying moments.

• They raise the question of the original owner of the dagger so pointedly I think it will somehow come back up.  I suspect it was Rhaegar Targaryen’s, though I can’t figure the particular relevance that would have to the issues of the day.

• In the series finale, after Sansa has ascended to the Iron Throne, Brienne will become the first Lady Commander of the Queensguard.  Her final scene will be sitting down to fill in Jaime’s pages in the Book Of Brothers, to provide history with a more nuanced memory of the Kingslayer.  I can’t imagine a better end for her character or capstone for their complicated relationship.

GAME OF THRONES 7.03 - "THE QUEEN'S JUSTICE"

Last season ended with women ascendant on nearly every front, as Dany, Cersei, Yara, Ellaria and Olenna all took the reins of their particular factions, as well as Sansa and Arya avenging themselves on the Boltons and Freys.  “The Queen’s Justice” sees many of these women brought extremely low, as well as explicit reminders of the degradations that even those still occupying seats of power have endured (Dany and Sansa’s marital rapes, Cersei’s walk of shame).  But even with the ladies taking the losses, it plays less as a reassertion of patriarchal power than an acknowledgment that even when the players have lady parts, the Great Game is still the Game.  As Cersei told us way back in the first season, there’s no points for second place.  You win or you die.

The Lannisters are, once again, doing the winning and Dany’s southern allies the dying.  I was actually a bit relieved when Cersei’s plan to punish Ellaria was revealed; it was suitably fiendish, but more elegant than graphic.  And acted to the nines by Indira Varma and Lena Headey, who has a series-best acting moment when a pained, genuine question slipped through her big revenge speech.  Cersei is the series’ best villain because Headey is so good at these moments of humanity and hurt that peak briefly through the cold, vindictive exterior.   That front is back on display when she (after a vigorous round of brotherfucking) meets with Tycho, the Iron Banker of Braavos.  She is on top of her game, drawing favorable comparisons to her father, and making a good case that even if Dany is still more likely to win the war, she has no credit history to speak of, while the Lannisters have the best FICO score in any of the Seven Kingdoms.

For she is the Unburnt, the Breaker Of Chains, and the Absorber of Prepayment Penalties

She even has a plan for how to repay the Iron Bank, as Jaime’s masterstroke at episode’s end allows the crown to plunder the riches of Highgarden, while also cutting off the remainder of Dany’s Westerosi support, AND thanks to Euron’s supersonic fleet, stranding the Unsullied on the wrong side of the continent.  As the show continues to contract toward the endgame, things have necessarily become more predictable, but this development was a genuine surprise, utilizing the accelerated pace of the season to layer the reveal of Tyrion’s full battle plan in as a misdirect from the bigger reveal of the Lannisters’ gambit.  And that was all the more satisfying because it was rooted in lessons Jaime learned from his defeat at Robb Stark’s hands.  That sense of the series’ history informing current decisions has been one of the season’s stronger assets, and is all over this episode - Jaime’s citing his sources for this tricky maneuver, Tyrion’s trip to the Wall or reminding Davos of the results of Blackwater, Dany recounting her trials and troubled family history with the Starks, or Cersei posthumously recognizing Oberyn’s spear game.   And last but best of all, Olenna Tyrell going out in characteristically thorny fashion, offering up a less flattering posthumous assessment of Joffrey (“he really was a cunt, wasn’t he?”) before dropping the bomb that she was responsible for his death the moment she is beyond more drawn out retribution.   

Olenna’s dying confession is a hell of a burn, but it doesn’t stop the Tyrells from joining the Baratheons, Martells, Freys and Boltons in the dustbin of Westerosi history.  This makes Dany’s position all the more precarious, and bolsters the need for a genuine alliance between the Dragon Queen and King In The North.  They finally come face to face after seven years of stalling at the geographical fringes of the narrative, neither realizing that this is a family reunion of sorts. There is some friction, as she is not about to call off the conquest she’s been planning her entire life any more than he is going to surrender the kingdom for which his family has shed copious blood.  Tyrion does a good job of smoothing things over to the point where they can start building a working relationship, though, which is a good counterpoint to his grand military stratagem being reduced to tatters.  Which is in turn is a necessary twist to make Dany’s situation desperate enough that the union of the two characters with the thickest plot armor feels like a dire necessity rather than a dominating supergroup a la the ’85 Bears or Emerson, Lake and Palmer. 

Look upon them and tremble, peasants

The season has been ruthlessly efficient in cutting Dany’s advantages away, to the point of granting Euron superpowers of teleportation to go along with soaring assholery that no mortal douchebag could hope to match.  The timing of troop and ships movements may have gotten wonky, but the show has compensated for this with continuous action and fast-acting twists.  This accelerated pace could be cause for concern, but so far it's been bringing with it new and exciting character pairings, and efficient, canny beats for them.  Amidst all the action we still get stuff like Cersei’s “why did you do that?”, Olenna’s final scene, and perfectly calibrated exchanges like Melisandre parrying Varys’s threat on her life by telling him they will both die in Westeros or Dany calling Tyrion on pawning off his own ideas as ancient wisdom (though “you should never believe a thing just because you want it to be true” is solid advice nonetheless). 

Or after Jon and Dany fail to reconcile their competing claims to the sovereignty of the North, or their assessments of who the true enemy is, when she gets a brief, illuminating glimpse of his character as he mutters briefly that unlike most people, he does not enjoy the thing he's best at.  I do not see romance in these characters’ futures, as many have predicted, although I get that given the medieval context and their family history, their pairing would technically represent a step forward on the incest spectrum.  But I just don’t buy that for all the series’s commitment to a “realistic” depiction of feudal culture, it is going to, as its final statement, ask us to accept a marriage between an aunt and nephew as its Happy Ending.  Same goes for the weirdos who think that he might end up with Sansa, after the reveal that they are cousins rather than siblings apparently made them more ‘shippable. 

Focus your 'shipping where it belongs, dweebs

No, my money is still on Sansa and Tyrion’s marriage being revived to broker the final peace between Fire And Ice.  Which is another piece of the series’ history that popped up briefly, as Tyrion quickly and awkwardly assured Jon that it was never consummated.  Unlike her other marriage, which Bran reminds us of in his particularly chilly reunion with his sister.  He also casually renounces his claim to Winterfell, which is frankly for the best since Sansa has shit locked down already at home and Jon is already abroad working on his foreign policy credentials.  Of course, Littlefinger won’t like having someone around who can take his advice about seeing everything everywhere in your head literally.  And he’s due for some kind of nefarious move…

Is it next week yet?

SUBPLOT REPORT CARD

Dragonstone – A.  Great stuff between Tyrion and Jon, Tyrion and Dany, Varys and Melisandre, and finally Davos gets to speak more than a sentence.

The North -  B.   Bran has never been my favorite character, but I’m not sure I’m going to like him in his omnipotent, emotionless incarnation at all.

King’s Landin’ – A.   Great episode for Cersei, but if that handmaid she asked for new bedsheets isn’t Arya yet, she will be by season’s end.

Maester Baetin’ – B-.  If Jorah decides to take the overland route to King’s Landing, rather than sailing to Dragonstone, he will be going directly through territory held by Jaime and Randyll Tarly.   No mention of Sam giving him a certain Valyrian sword, however, which I thought was all but certain.

Casterly Rock/Highgarden – A+.  That long over-the-shoulder shot of Jaime stalking the courtyards and battlements was a thing of beauty, as was the siege montage.  Both gave two new locations, only glimpsed briefly, an epic scope that has served these later, bigger budgeted seasons very well. 

MAP WATCH:  No additions for Casterly Rock or Highgarden.  I suppose the latter would have constituted a bit of a spoiler for how the end of the episode played out, but featuring Pyke instead is flat out chicanery.  And I approve.

Season Morghulis:  House Frey, Obara Sand, Nymeria Sand, Tyene Sand, Olenna Tyrell  (I’m listing Tyene as dead because Bronn is off in the Reach even if he were inclined to mount a rescue attempt, and Ellaria as not dead because the promises to keep her alive whether she likes it or not raise the possibility of another scene with her). 

Death Watch:  There’s no shortage of possibilities here.  When we get back to the Brotherhood, I expect their ranks to thin out a bit, and Tormund is going to be in real danger as soon as we return to him and Eastwatch By The Sea. Yara’s prospects look grim.  Littlefinger is due to make some nefarious move any time now, which will probably be trouble for Robin Arryn and/or Yohn Royce.  Missandei and Grey Worm’s farewell love scene all but guarantees they won’t reunite, but with him surviving the battle and stranded at Casterly Rock without enemies to fight, I’d say she is in the more immediate danger.  Recasting a nothing role like Dickon Tarly suggests that character will have something significant in store, which could mean Papa Tarly is not long for the world.           

I’m thinking it might be another week before we see the Brotherhood again.  So I’m going to say Royce and Randyll both drop next week.

GAME OF THRONES 7.02 - "STORMBORN"

If you were complaining that not much happened in the premiere, “Stormborn” should address that.  There was significant movement on every front, complete with the deaths of some familiar, if not popular, characters.  With the cast whittled down – a relative measure to be sure, but this season has seen an entire continent from the map, only a single Tyrell left standing and the Martell/Sand contingent on the verge of joining Houses Baratheon, Bolton and Frey in the dirt – there are simply less storylines to cut between.  Which means that plenty can happen even as the show continues to find room for leisurely scenes of eunuch loving, pie baking tips, musing on long-dead Robert’s relation to the legacy of the even longer-dead Targaryens, and dire wolf reunions that don’t have any immediate narrative payoff.  Only at the Citadel, where Sam is breaking major rules to flay Jorah with kindness the night after he met him, does it feel like anything is moving in a hurry.

That surgery takes us back to Arya with a nauseating jump cut that may have put me off pot pies for the forseeable future (the show’s increasing infatuation with gross-out humor is puzzling for how it seems to have popped up so suddenly in its old age).  After Hot Pie gives her a hot take on the Battle Of The Bastards, she decides to defer her quest to murder Cersei to go north and reunite with her family.  But in a scene heavy with foreshadowing, she encounters her long-lost wolf, now grown to terrifying dimensions and leading a pack of predators.  Nymeria declines Arya’s invitation to be an inside wolf again, a decision that Arya understands even as it saddens her.  Arya’s own time in the wilderness has probably likewise left her unable to ever truly settle down and be a lady of Winterfell again.  I have thought for awhile that she may be a goner once her vengeance is complete, and indeed, I will be chewing my nails at any scene with her in the finale’s denouement, just waiting for some friendly face to be removed to show Jaqen's red mane, there to end her abuse of her Faceless powers.  But seeing her acceptance of Nymeria’s place at the head of this ersatz pack got me thinking for the first time that maybe her end is to lead whatever form the Brotherhood Without Banners takes when the wars of winter are done. 

Shut up, just let me have this one

In any case, Arya is not the only gal giving Cersei a reprieve this week.  Dany unveils her plan to break the Lannister hold on Westeros in relatively bloodless fashion, to the chagrin of her more vengeful allies.  This is a narrative necessity, as we required some sort of explanation to justify the decision to park at Dragonstone instead of burning King’s Landing outright.  She knows she could win quickly and easily, but she also knows that quick victories in Astapor, Yunkai and Meereen did not result in any Happily Ever After scenario for Slaver's Bay.  And in that light, it’s not actually a bad plan.  From the perspective of a ruler aware that the core of her military strength lies in terrifying firebeasts and foreign hordes that cannot exactly be deployed with a light touch, she understands that relying on them only strengthens her enemies’ xenophobic rallying cries.  But its drawbacks become quickly apparent, as it allows time for Qyburn to craft anti-aircraft ballistae, Jaime to sway Tyrell bannermen to support the crown against the foreign invaders (“the Dothraki, they’re not sending their best…”), and Euron to destroy half Dany’s fleet and capture two of her would-be heads of the seven queendoms.  And bringing the Reek back out of Theon in the process.   

"I..uh..think I left my wallet...in the ocean...brb.."

But the drawbacks for Dany’s military designs are benefits for TV drama.  The tricky thing about making drama about intelligent characters is that bad decisions are more fruitful as story fertilizer than airtight stratagems.  This is an especially thorny issue for this show, with how many allegedly brilliant schemers are incorporated in its complex series of gears within gears. The decision to defer a direct attack needs to be a mistake, because it needs to allow for Cersei to bolster the rather weak position where she started the season, and become a credible threat to Dany’s progress.  Without that, there is no drama.  But when the decisions required to create drama become too stupid, it hurts the credibility of the “hero” side (see: Sansa hiding a larger army from Jon while yelling at him to wait for a larger army, a decision so indefensibly dumb that the show opted for a sheepish apology rather than any real attempt to justify it).  The strategizing scenes in “Stormborn”, of which there are several and will never not give me a nerd boner, are stronger because they thread the needle of showing how smart people could plausibly make decisions with disastrous results, for reasons better than the script requiring those results.

Dany’s questioning of Varys is a great opening in this regard, as it allows her to demonstrate some cleverness before we get to those bad decisions.  It gives Conleth Hill a chance to speak more plainly than usual, spitting some fire back at the Dragon Queen. But it also shows her to be more aware of potential threats and pitfalls than I may have previously thought.  She begins the interrogation by noting that he was instrumental in bringing Dorne and Olenna into her fold, which underlines why she would pick just now to start asking the tough questions, without beating us over the head with it.  The short term value of his assistance was too great to pass up, but now that the pieces are mostly in place she is weighing how much trust she can put in him longer term. This dilemma mirrors what Sansa is going through with Littlefinger, but I can’t imagine Baelish even attempting honesty about his myriad betrayals, much less the populist, pro-peasant angle.  Instead, he tries sidling up to Jon, only to find him no more pliable than Ned, getting the exact same chokehold in the crypts that he got outside his brothel way back in the first season.  

Like father, like so-...no, wait, not actually son.  So...secret nephew? But I thought
we decided he was Dany's nephew., so... not cousin...shit, I had a chart for this...

Unfortunately, Jon is also seemingly intent on repeating the mistakes of his forebears, as he is waltzing into the seat of Targaryen power to make demands of them, a move that Sansa points out led to Ned’s father getting burnt alive and Robert’s Rebellion kicking off.  Of course, should things go south at the meeting on Dragonstone, all may be surprised to find that Jon does not burn as easily, given his own dragon blood.  In the meantime his new vassals are no more impressed with his decisions than Dany’s southern allies are with hers, grumbling at his decision to leave the North the moment he conquered it, even if he does leave a Stark in Winterfell, with two more unknowingly on the way.  My guess is that he misses Arya (since she is coming up from the southwest and he is heading southeast) on the road, but does encounter the Brotherhood.  And then…

Damn, is it next week yet?

• Lots of callbacks to earlier seasons here – Varys’s role in supporting Dany’s brother and her assassination attempt, Tyrion and Jon’s time as travel companions, Nymeria and Arya recalling her own rejection of her father’s vision of domesticity for her, lots of musing about Robert’s rule, Jon throttling Littlefinger.  Also Arya’s time with Hot Pie and Sansa’s with Tyrion come up in significant ways.  The series sense of history has always been one of its greatest assets (it’s sort of the key to the entire fantasy genre, really), but with this episode a lot of the history being referenced was things we’ve actually witnessed.  Which is neat.

• It’s obviously not going anywhere now that the Dornish have been made redundant, but I’m glad the show took the moment to let the tension between Tyrion and Ellaria flare up.  Of course there would be hard feelings between them after the deaths of Oberyn and Myrcella, and internal tensions liven up those scenes of Dany ironing out exactly how she will eventually, inevitably take the throne.

• I kind of skipped over the entire attack sequence, but it actually kind of upset me.  I don’t know why exactly, since I basically called it going down like this last week and I’m generally not squeamish about the show’s violence. But watching Euron just bash the faces and murder 2-3 women in a row put me off more than even greyscale surgery.  In general, I think I prefer the show not take it easier on its female fighters than the men, but there was something about the inherently gendered nature of the violence that made it hard for me to appreciate the other merits of the scene, such as how it was clearing some of the most useless, unloved characters from the deck or the completely over-the-top spectacle of Euron dropping, alone and screaming, onto a burning ship on fanged gangplank. And the implications for Yara, Ellaria and Tyene getting captured by the rapiest group of rapers in a nation where rape is practically the national sport aren't any better (nor are their prospects any better once they are delivered to Cersei).  I'm a bit surprised not to have seen much in the way of online backlash for the sheer quantity of brutality toward women today.  Maybe everyone with the vigor to give it a good thinkpiecing checked out back when Ramsay still held sway over what felt like half the show.

Half-Assed Moralizin' is, once again, brought to you by Papa John

• The actor who plays Randyll Tarly is a great piece of casting.  When he talks I feel like I’m being lectured by a British granite quarry.  It makes enough of an impression that it took me awhile to remember that tonight was only his second scene ever on the show.

• While the Jon stepping out of a blaze of (either sacrificial or dragon) fire is too good a dramatic reveal of his heritage for me to dismiss entirely, cutting against it is that he did conspicuously burn his hand when defending Commander Mormont from the wight attack back in the first season.  But since it’s magic juju anyway, you can handwave it away by saying he was still more Stark back then and it took becoming king to awaken his dragon or whatever.

• Yohn Royce’s continuing presence and deference to Jon confuses me.  I gather that the Vale supports the North’s independence, but certainly they don’t consider themselves part of his kingdom?

Season Morgulis;  House Frey, Obara Sand, Nymeria Sand

Death Watch:  While I don’t think Thoros and Beric are long for the world once the Hound is in the orbit of more important characters, Ellaria and her captured daughter are the easy bets.  I shudder to think what Cersei will do with the women who murdered her daughter.  I think Cersei will want to extend Ellaria’s suffering, but I can’t imagine killing her daughter in front of her won’t be a part of that.  I’d say the best Tyene “bad poosi” Sand can hope for is that her old frenemy Bronn is moved to smuggle her some poison in her cell, in a mirror of the “favor” she did him back in Dornish jail.  Otherwise…things are going to get nasty, even for this show.