GAME OF THRONES 8.04 - "THE LAST OF THE STARKS"

“The Last Of The Starks” is not the most elegant of GOT experiences, feeling very much like a fairly complete episode of falling action at Winterfell, with 25 minutes from another, more eventful one stapled onto the end.  It does succeed at its most important job, which is making the ongoing struggle for political control of Westeros feel like a natural follow through to last week’s apocalyptic clash with Evil Incarnate, rather than a protracted afterthought.  But it also has some real clunkiness in its execution, in matters both significant and picayune.  On the latter end, you have minor gaffes like Jon ghosting Ghost without so much as a scratch on the mangled ear, or a literal cup of Starbucks appearing on a banquet table.  On the other end, you have Euron Greyjoy continuing to enjoy both a warp whistle and invisibility cloak that can cover his entire fleet of ships, and Bronn and Cersei behaving completely nonsensically.  And then in the middle, “maybe-this-bothers-no-one-but-me” area, there is death toll of the battle of Winterfell. 

The episode opens with a mass funeral scene, which seems to suggest that the dead outnumber the survivors by a fair margin.  And that makes sense based on what we saw all of last week.  What makes absolutely no sense is when they tell us that exactly half of all of Jon and Dany’s armies survived the zombie apocalypse action spectacular.  I watched that zombie apocalypse action spectacular several times, enough to remember that they showed us, repeatedly and conspicuously, that the Walkers overcame all of the defenses and pretty much the entirety of the castle grounds, and our core of five known heroes were the last defenders standing.  It is going to be really strange to go back and look at that 30 minute stretch of the Winterfell being completely overrun, and knowing that there has to be somewhere in the neighborhood of 10,000-15,000 additional troops hiding just off screen.  They just couldn’t be in the crypts, where they would have been in Sansa and Tyrion’s way.  Or the Godswood, where Bran and Theon could have seen them.  Or the inner courtyard or battlements, where they could have helped Brienne and Pod and Grey Worm and Tormund.  Maybe they were outside the walls (and edges of the frame) the whole time?  That might explain why the thousands of zombies out there were distracted enough to attack Jon and Dany and Jorah one or two at a time.

"A toast, to the full half of my men that ran off into the woods and left me to
die, then slunk back after a teenage girl won the entire war for them.  Heroes all."

  

This crap aggravates me because it feels so entirely avoidable.  The scenarios all make perfect sense on paper, or at least perfect enough for a zombie apocalypse action spectacular.  But there just seems to be a complete disregard for crafting the visuals of the action scenes in a way that even loosely matches the reality that is required for the story to progress as it needs to.   If they just sprinkled a few more extras on the side of the living in that battle, so much of this distracting dissonance would melt away.   In any case, this week offers little hope that dramatically sound scenes won’t continue to be marred by sloppy staging.  Missandei's death was a real shock ,of the type I keep doubting the show's ability to pull off this close to the end (which so many of us have been obsessively gaming out all the possible iterations of for years now).  It also makes Dany’s professional rivalry with Cersei into a more intense personal blood feud.  It’s the type of ruthless narrative development that made Game Of Thrones what it is, and the type that online commenters love to accuse the show of going too soft or “mainstream” to pull off anymore.

But I have this sneaking suspicion that next week is going to open up with Tyrion, Dany and Drogon all safely back at Dragonstone, with no indication of how they got there.  There was certainly no indication of why Cersei thought that, when all her archers and artillery had most open shot they could possibly hope for at her hated rival, the only real and unique weapon in said rival’s arsenal, and her second-in-command/Cersei’s despised brother, the best move was clearly to behead Dany’s favorite intern and call it a day. I suspect that the show may just ignore entirely that Cersei could have killed Tyrion 16 times over with a literal lift of her finger, because it just wanted to give him a moment to be brave and address his sister directly.

This practice, of sticking his head in the lion’s jaws and then trying to strike a deal, has basically become his signature and only move since he arrived in Essos. It’s what he did when meeting Dany, when he snuck into King’s Landing to talk to Jaime, when he met with Cersei alone in last year’s finale, and now here again.  Which is not an absurd number of iterations exactly, but the careless staging and vague sense of familiarity compounded to make all the seams more visible this time.  And looking back, it really seems like the writers kept having to stage versions of this same beat because Tyrion just couldn’t be as clever once he left Westeros as when he was in King's Landing.  In those early seasons, he was such an appealing character because he was smart but also because he was degraded and impeded by having to use those smarts to prop up a idiotic shitheel like Joffrey.  Dany, for whatever her faults as a ruler, has never been nearly that stupid or self-destructive.  She is a primary protagonist in her own right, so she can't be the one screwing things up for herself the way His Grace could.  And also she was up against less formidable and developed adversaries in Meereen, who needed more incompetence on the protagonists' side to keep them in the running.   And she went into all her conflicts with a ridiculous dragon-based advantage.  And then she had the Dothraki on her side, and Varys, and the Unsullied, and the Greyjoys, and and and…

"Don't forget us!  Everyone loved us."

.

The upshot is that with Dany accumulating more and more advantages, the plot starts to demand that the Imp’s clever plans had to start failing hard and repeatedly to avoid ending the entire show prematurely.  But that also tarnishes the character in our eyes, so the writers began to lean more heavily on another demand of the plot, that Tyrion stay alive until the end, to allow him these acts of bravery that reassure us of his essential worth.  Which worked quite well the first time, but it is getting annoying by the fourth round, when they seem to have given up on even half-assing an explanation for how he will manage to walk back out of the fire.

But okay, enough griping.  As I mentioned up top, the transition from “End Of The World!!” to “same old shit, with the looming threat of the End Of The World removed” was smoother than I had anticipated.  Euron continues to leverage his special talent to manifest an entire fleet wherever the script needs him to cause trouble to fairly ludicrous effect, but that I can roll with since winnowing down Dany’s overwhelming dragon edge was long overdue.  The story does desperately need a formidable villain on Cersei’s side, but even she seems to agree that it would be nice if that ally had been established earlier, or at least pitched their performance to the same naturalistic level as most of the cast. 

The medieval setting may be foreign, but the look of a woman trying
to ignore an overwhelming tide of Axe body spray is universal

Anyway, the important thing is that offing the dragon and Missandei does effectively up the stakes for the battle with Cersei, and fuel Dany’s latent mad queen tendencies that are getting more serious play in this home stretch than I expected.  One of the best things about the episode is how deftly it depicts the knowledge of Jon’s lineage taking on a life of its own, in opposition to his own wishes, stoking those monomaniacal leanings and sowing discord amongst even Dany's supporters, which will in turn fuel her paranoia further.  It’s encouraging to see Varys acknowledge so directly that the benevolent ruler that Tyrion describes to people has never entirely matched the Dragon Queen we have actually seen on the screen.  Much like with her Hand’s increasingly poor track record as a strategist, this is a character trait that developed slowly enough that I was never entirely sure if the show was aware of it, but I am glad to see it incorporated directly into this final arc. 

To be clear, I don’t think this means Dany will become the villain in the final episode, or abdicate her throne to Jon’s superior hereditary claim, mild temperament, and more protrusive genitals.  At least not for longer than the minute or two necessary to teach her a humbling lesson about self-sacrifice that will actually temper her more vicious instincts in the way Tyrion was always hoping he could with sassy advice.  The show may be set in a generally medieval past, but it is airing in 2019, and there is just no way that its final statement on the matter is going to be that  for as hard and as many years as this broad fought, ultimately the big chair is better suited for the dim bulb bro that didn’t even ask for a promotion.  Still, even if this is a feint, having Sansa, Tyrion, and Varys all questioning Dany’s suitability to rule in a single episode, compounded by the loss of her two biggest cheerleaders in Jorah and Missandei, makes the prospect of her actually going nuts feel more real than it probably should.  Or at the least, it makes it more believable that someone like the Spider would actually plot to betray her.

...Now let’s talk about fuckin’. 

This season has been a real roller coaster ride for the ‘shippers in the audience.  Jon and Dany are officially on the outs, despite Tyrion’s increasingly forlorn protestations that a marital union could still ward off some much larger-scale evils than an aunt banging her nephew.  Arya lets Gendry down as easy as possible, because of course she is not any more interested in being Lady Of Storm’s End than Lady Of Winterfell.  Jaime and Brienne knock boots, but when news that the war with Cersei is underway comes, he breaks things off fast, and hard.

Oh, grow up.  

One of the biggest differences between fiction and real life is that in fiction, sex tends to have a simplifying effect on relationships.  Most real world denizens will have sexual tension of some sort with all kinds of people throughout their lives, but even the most thoroughly compulsive and genitally extraordinary among us will, for any of a thousand reasons, not actually do anything with the vast majority of them.  But if you are a character on a television show, things tend to work differently.  Partly because fiction cries out for, if not a literal climax, then at least a resolution in all its affairs,whereas the real world keeps spinning with a sloppy indifference to whether we ever closed off this thread or that one satisfactorily.  And also partly because TV characters simply need stuff to do every week, and sex counts as stuff.  I’m pretty sure that all of the combinations of the FRIENDS had slept together by the end of their run mostly because after seven or eight seasons, it was just getting harder to think of other things we hadn’t seen Joey and Rachel do together before.

All of this is by way of saying that I appreciate when a story can build a believable, complex relationship with some romantic undertones without taking it into explicitly sexual territory. It requires careful and astute character work to do well, but GOT had managed it wonderfully for Jaime and Brienne.  That  relationship was always so compelling precisely because it was this big messy pile of unresolvable loyalties, grudging respect, and genuine contempt.  Now it is a bit easier to just look at all those years of shared trauma, enmity, accidental intimacy, and narrow bear escapes and sum it all up with “oh, they wanteda fuck, then they did.”  Which I don’t think is what the show intends, but the "star-crossed lovers" take is ceratinly much easier to to accept now than whatever undefinable thing they had going previously.

On the other hand, I recognize that most people were probably delighted by this hook up, and that's cool.  Really, who could possibly begrudge Brienne getting her some, at long last?

Oh, that's right.  Let's get to bullet points and wrap this up.

RANDOM NOTES

• I harped on Cersei's idiotic maneuvering earlier, but she must have taught Bronn her version of 5D chess before he left, because he has always been one of the sharpest knives in the GOT drawer.  And unless I’m missing something, “swear you will make the queen gives me one of her kingdoms after she has defeated all the allies that protect me, or else I will risk my life trying to murder you when you are at your most protected, know I'm coming, and I have nothing to actually gain from it,” isn’t an especially strong or pragmatic position. 

• If this post feels like a portion of a second recap hastily slapped on the end of a completely different train of thought, that was a deliberate mirroring of the awkward structure of the episode.  Uh-huh.  Yep.  That’s definitely what it is.

• It's a shame that Tormund had to return to his home planet so abruptly, but damn it if he didn't pull a last laugh out of me with the "which one of you cowards shit in my pants??" joke.  I imagine that was the 22nd time he had told it that night, because he had the delivery polished to a fine sheen. 

• There has been a fair bit of outcry over Sansa saying that her sufferings with Ramsay and Littlefinger were what made her as strong as she is today.  I certainly get why people would take issue with framing rape as a learning experience for the victim, but it strikes me as an authentic perspective for the character at this point. Her blunt declaration to the Hound may not be the most aspirational or holistic treatise on how to deal with sexual assault as a survivor and a society, but I don't think it's entirely fair to expect the character to fully shoulder that kind of burden.  She has endured levels of trauma that are quite beyond my ken, but in my experience, people do find ways to take pride in their pain, and some comfort by ascribing it meaning after the fact.  There are few things as quintessentially human as the way we come to cherish our scars.

• Speaking of The Hound, his curmudgeonly nature feels more and more forced these least couple seasons. But the way that less and less people are buying it at all is a smaller scale version of what I was talking about with Dany and Tyrion, where a character has undergone a change so gradually that they themselves would still deny it, but having other characters point it out provides assurance that the show hasn't lost their track completely. 

• I don't know what could really be left for Davos to do, but they took a really deliberate moment to establish him still having conflicted feelings about the Lord Of Light.  That has to go somewhere, I guess?  

Season Morghulis:  Ned Umber, Edd Tollett, Lyanna Mormont, Berric Dondarrion, Alys Karstark, Theon Greyjoy, Jorah Mormont, Melisandre, (Viserion), (The Night King), Rhaegal, Missandei

Prophesies:   I would have bet folding money that Missandei was safer than anyone but Sansa, Sam and Gilly.  That's a big miss, though Rhaegal, Gendry, and Arya were kind enough to (respectively) die, take over the Stormlands, and refuse his proposal, so I think I can call the week a wash. 

Jon – Becomes king, dies defeating Night King, leaving Dany pregnant

Dany – Refuses to step down for Jon, thinks better of it after losing more dragons and advisors in the battle at Winterfell, but winds up back on the throne after he dies heroically, with a proper incestuous Targaryen heir on the way.

Cersei – Gets to little Robin Arryn and lays a trap at the Eyrie before the survivors of Winterfell can reach it, which is mostly foiled by wariness of Sansa/Arya/Tyrion.  King Jon still feels compelled to offer her a pardon to fight with them for realsies this time.  She can’t help but try to backstab them one last time and Jaime mercy-kills her before Queen Dany can burn her alive.

Bran – Dies/leaves human body warging into Drogon as a sacrifice play allowing the living to escape Winterfell.

Sansa/Tyrion – Renew their marriage to rule the North and Westerlands.  

Arya – Provides assist to take out Mountain in Cleganebowl.  Hooks up with Gendry but refuses to be tied down as his wife, last seen hitting the road for more merry adventures, but with an ominous note that a Faceless man is trailing her.

Gendry – High Lord of the Stormlands.

Sam – High Lord of The Reach.

Gilly – Lady Of the Reach.

Jaime – Appointed/Sentenced to reconstitute the Night’s Watch as new Lord Commander.

Brienne – Commander of the Queensguard.

Davos – Small Council, Master Of Ships.

Missandei – Small Council.

Jorah – killed by Walkers.

Tormund – Ruler of new Wildling nation in the Gift.

Yara – Ruler Of Iron Islands.

Theon – dies heroically.

Euron – dismembered by Mountain.

The Hound/Mountain – killed together in Cleganebowl.

Drogon/Rhaegal – die in battles with Night King.

Grey Worm – killed by Walkers.

Varys – killed in Cersei’s trap.

Melisandre – killed by Varys.

Robin Arryn – killed in Cersei’s trap.

Yohn Royce – Lord of the Vale.